The Road Not Taken

2011-01-26T14:21:00.002-05:00

Well today I weighed in at 191.2 and am pretty happy. 1st things first, I may need to up my carb intake a bit. Reason being I am feeling sluggish even being on the EC stack for appetite suppression and energy. Though, I am going to get a good night sleep tonight. Last night I went to bed a bit later then I would have liked and maybe that has something to do with it. My food log today looks like this:

1 large egg, 7 large egg whites scrambled
2 tbsp salsa
1 slice non fat american cheese
2g Fish Oil
Multi
EC
Calcium

60g Protein shake
EC

Banana

Seasoned Grilled Chicken breast 5oz
Broccoli
Slice of non fat American cheese
3G Fish Oil
Calcium

Due to the snow storm coming tonight, I may only be able to workout at home instead of the gym. Supposed to hit within the next hour. I will just do resistance training. Even though I don't have much muscle mass to preserve, I still need to preserve what I got. I really hope the rate of weight loss continues. I would like to get to 270 on this diet, but I may not get that close this round. We will just have to see.

What I love about this diet. It is really re-teaching me how to eat. I was always a overeater. That, coupled with being lazy, is what lead to my weight gain. I am learning that I don't need a "full meal" to be satisfied. Before I would order the biggest steak available or order a meal at a fast food restaurant and get a dessert or shake or extra burger. Now, I can eat a chicken breast and side of broccoli and be good to go, where before, I would have also wanted a salad, starch, or just more. If anything else could come of this, I hope it will show me I can eat at a deficit or at maintenance and be just fine. For some reason, I have it en-grained in my head that when you eat at a deficit, you will be hungry and unsatisfied. I have already learned, that is not the case. Till tomorrow.

Holy Crap! Is this guy still alive?

2011-01-24T20:21:00.003-05:00

Okay, yes, it has been over a year, get over it. So where am I now? Same place as when I started plus about 10lbs. It sucks. I actually feel fat. Anyway, I shot up over 300lbs again, and was like oh fuck that. Reason for the weight gain? none. I am tired of making excuses unless being lazy is one. So, I decided it really is now or never. I am out on my own and left to my own devices. I realized that now is literally the best time. Why? I am on my own and I am single. That means I don't have to worry about what someone else wants to eat or do. I make my own schedule and eat whenever/whatever I want. If I wait, there is no guarantee I will have this opportunity again.

I have been battling my weight for sometime now. Trying this diet for a month, that diet for a month. Whatever. I have found a proven way to lose it, at least that is what everyone is saying. It is called PSMF. That is short for Protein Sparing Modified Fast. Pretty much you aren't eating unless it is protein and supplements. I tried Keto, but that was a bit complicated to keep to the macros and schedule. And yes, Keto does work if you follow it. It just wasn't for me. The PSMF is very easy to follow. If this interests you, read Lyle McDonald's book. It is called The Rapid Fat Loss Handbook. Anyway, this is my first real day on it. I started it yesterday, but had to burn one of my free meals for the week. I get two free meals due to my weight, doesn't mean I'll use them. Anyway, he says I could stay on for 6-12 weeks, vs a week or two for fit folk. I plan to stay on for 8 weeks, take a break, then get on it for 8 weeks more. That pretty much takes me right to summer. I will just have to keep a eye on my weight loss. If I think I am loosing too much or if I hit a certain point, I will pull the plug. If I could get down to 250 over the next 18 weeks, that would be amazing. He did state that a good 10lbs will be water weight. I would like to get to between 240-250 and then move off and transition into a real plan. Reason is you really don't excercise on this, you do just two full body sessions a week to prevent LBM loss. So, I would like to get a nice base before the weight really comes off.

My meal plan looks like this:

Breakfast: 8 egg whites topped with Salsa

Lunch 1: Protein Shake

Lunch 2: Celery sticks and tuna salad

Dinner: Chicken breast and salad.

So, you see just how little I am eating calorie wise. If you are not sure of the count, according to fitday.com it looks like this:
763 Calories
16.0g Fat
19.1g Carbs
151.0g Protein

You may get something a bit different, I actually create all my own custom foods except for the eggs and celery. That way it is true to the brand and type. I will weigh in tomorrow. I tipped the scale at 297 Sunday morning.

Update and Revelation

2009-12-02T22:35:00.002-05:00

Well, it has been a minute since I updated this, so here we go. First, I realized something the hard way. My original plan wasn't working, I was over training and paying the price. So, I have scaled it back, I mostly do cardio, and weight train just one to two times a week. I am still seeing results so that is a plus and my diet is on target.

Over Thanksgiving I went to West Virginia to see my aunt and uncle's new house. This was AWESOME! I ate as much as I wanted and whatever I wanted and paid the price the hard way, I felt like shit afterward, but I guess it was worth it, I don't know. But, what made it so great you ask? No leftovers. We brought pie, which got destroyed, and left the host with the leftovers! So a one day binge was just that. I didn't have to worry about Thanksgiving dinner extending over the weekend.

I have noticed a nice difference in the way I feel. Right now I am cruising at about ~283lbs. Now, for my revelation that rocked my world. I hate commercials, hate them with a passion, but this one was awesome. It was for a 200 million pound challenge thing that someone was doing. I guess they want america to lose that much or something, but that isn't important here. The ad featured a guy standing in a park with a porcelain tub. You had no idea what he was doing there or what he was selling. He kept asking passerby's to stop and try to lift and move the tub, nobody could. Some people did if they had help from others or friends, but by themselves, they couldn't do it. Finally, the guy drops the bomb. He asks these folks, "How much do you think this tub weighs?" People guess, but most are clueless. You can't really quantify something like that if you have never moved it. So, he says that tub is about 200lbs, I lost 200lbs, I lost this tub..." Suddenly, your world is rocked, holy hell, that is alot. So, I applied this same measure to my own life. So far I have lost between 15-20lbs, so I walked into my weight room and picked up a 15lb dumbell. Wow, that is heavy. Okay, it really isn't as bad as a tub or something massive, but seriously, go pick up a 15 or 20lb dumbbell. Feel heavy? Yes? No? If you answered No, then do me a favor and carry that around with you the rest of the day. See my point. You wonder why I have noticed that I am feeling so much better, more energy, stamina, and such. It is because I am no longer carrying a 15lb dumbbell on my back. I just wonder what it will be like to lose 50lbs. You realize I can't do a 50lb curl...yet I am carrying over that much on my body everyday. I don't know how I do it honestly. Then a even scarier fact hits me. There are a lot of people out there that are a lot heavier than me, some hitting 300, 350, to over 400lbs. I don't know how you can function. You suddenly realize why they can't. It isn't that they don't want to do this or that, sometimes they may not actually be able to. If you are a healthy 180lb male, throw a 100lb pack on your back and run a mile...feel like dying yet? Good, now you know how I feel after a workout. I just wish I could feel like you do after you run a mile at 180lbs.

The other thing I realized is that there is a thing called Life. It effects everything from your workouts to your diet. The lesson today is not to let it set you back. Yeah, there will be things you can't help. Maybe you come home after a long hard day, and all you feel like doing is grabbing a bite, getting a warm bath, and going to bed. The problem is that you were supposed to workout tonight. Now there will be those idiots out there that will say DO IT! DO IT! YOU BETTER DO IT YOU LOSER! Yet, I am sure they are either 1. injury plagued individuals, or 2. they don't practice what they preach. Point is don't listen to them, listen to your body. Just make sure you don't make a habit out of skipping workouts, and don't allow this to make you feel like the whole thing is pointless. It still amazes me how many people will go "well shit, I missed my workout, I guess I will go ahead and grab a burger and fries for dinner." Or, "I guess it is pointless to continue my workouts this week, missing today shot the rest of my schedule to shit." Not so, get right back on it tomorrow and keep truckin.

There are posts all the time about "I really want to have a piece of cake, HELP!" or the like. You know what I say? I say, have it. You have been doing great, dieting, working out, losing weight, a single piece of cake is not going to ruin all that hard work. Just don't let it get out of control and don't get stupid. That doesn't mean you get a piece of cake everyday or something stupid like that. It means, have a piece of cake, then continue with your diet. If you are feeling bad about it, then factor it into your diet. Like this, if your diet is 25oo calories a day, and that cake is 500, then guess what, you only have 2000 calories left. Point is, it is more dangerous to your diet and wellbeing to not eat it, then to have a little indulgence. Because, what I have noticed is that, when you fall, you tend to fall hard. You keep denying yourself and denying yourself, then you snap and you find yourself eating a large pepperoni pizza and a 2L of coke. That is a lot more dangerous than that one piece of cake. Me? I have a cheat day, which is very popular. No, that doesn't mean I eat everything in sight. I still eat smart, but I am allowing myself more room. I generally do my cheat day on the weekend. Maybe getting together with friends and going out to dinner. I will still eat a well rounded meal, but maybe I have a beer instead of water, and maybe I order up a dessert. It doesn't mean you get a full rack of ribs, a order of onion rings, a pitcher of beer, and a cake. It just means you have more room.

My last cheat day, I was out shopping during the Thanksgiving weekend, capitalizing on some of the deals. What did I do? I had a normal breakfast for me...eggs and a slice of toast. Lunch, I got some fun. I got some Chic-fil-a, that is soooo good. Then there is a little donut shop that makes mini donuts, not the full size. Well, they give you a dozen. I would say a dozen mini's is about 1.5 to 2 full size donuts to give you an idea of scale. Well, they offer up toppings and dipping sauces. Like a strawberry drizzle and a icing dip. Did I indulge in that? Nope. I just got a dozen powdered donuts , no toppings, no dips. That is just too much. The reason for donuts? I have a very special place in my heart for donuts. I love them. In my hayday, I could eat 6-12 and lick my fingers and look for more. But, I have had to cut them out. But, I love them as my cheat food. Generally, on a cheat day, I will stop by a donut shop and grab one or two and savor them like they are the last on the planet.

A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With Single Step

2009-11-23T21:54:00.000-05:00

I started this little log elsewhere, so to bring you up to date, read this first.

From 11/18/2009:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I?
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. -Robert Frost

Well, here I am, all 287 pounds of me. There are no more excuses, there is no more time...it should never have come to this. I am 24 years old and overweight. I sorta remember my journey to this place, where I am now. So, let me brief you on my life and my journey to over 300lbs. I was a young fit kid, loving life, and looking forward to a great summer of fun and sun, and most importantly, starting middle school. I remember this part as if it were yesterday, hard to believe it was over 12 years ago... Anyway, I went to summer camp for a week and noticed I had a problem. I was tired, all the time. I was too lazy to go to the classes, I was too tired to get up on time, hell, I couldn't even mind my own two feet. I would just mope around the camp site all day hanging out with the guys that would come and go. I got back home and my condition had worsened. But being only 12 I had no idea anything was wrong. I would nap constantly, I rarely got off the couch my first week home, I was just too tired. I was covered in bruises, anytime I would fall or bump into something a new bruise would appear. She had given me a day or two when I got home to kinda rejuvenate my batteries, but then when I still looked and felt the same, she knew, as mothers often do, that something wasn't right. So, she took me to the Dr's. He could see nothing overly wrong, there really was nothing for him to diagnose. A kid has bruises, especailly an active one. It is summer, of course he is going to lay around the house. Well, mom was persistant that something wasn't right. So, he ordered up a blood test. I hate needles, still do to. So, once the blood work came back to my Dr. we got a phone call. All he could say is that they (my parents) needed to get my to Children's Hospital ASAP. Long and short of it is that I got diagnosed with Leukemia. I had a little over a 75% chance to make it since it was caught fairly early.

This was a huge turning point in my life. I was all but bed ridden for the next month and for the next 2+ years constantly in and out of the hospital. It sucked. But, I developed something while on my extended stays at the hospital. A love for food. Maybe it was because I was a young growing boy, or maybe because that is about all you had to look forward to. Either way, this was when I started gaining weight. Even when not in the hospital, I can remember that I would eat to make myself feel better. Feeling crappy? have a snickers. Plus, I gave up on a lot of activities because I wasn't allowed outside. With Leukemia, they have to continue to lower your white blood cell count, which lowers your immunity. So, you combine a now sedatary lifestyle to diet that now contains more junk food than it previously did and BLAMO! You are now overweight. All through adolescents I continued this downward spiral. At first people just thought it was the puberty pudge, so no alarm necessary, then it was okay, maybe you should start cutting back the sweets. By Jr/Sr year of high school it was was about 240-250 IIRC. College was no better. All you can eat 3x a day is a sweet deal when you are a big guy and I took full advantage. There were 3 lines to go through for food, each offering something a little different. I would get a plate from all three, then hit up the dessert table. Life was good. Also, during college, I had all big friends, so my behavior was not only accepted, but encouraged. After doing that for a bit I came back home and decided it is time to get a job. Problem was I was in no shape to get a job in law enforcement. I never really saw myself as a fat person, just had a bit of work ahead of me. I kept saying, well once I get into shape, I will pursue a career in law enforcement. That didn't work. I was never consistent. I would join a gym or use one on campus, I would diet, everything would go alright until I quit. Finally, a few weeks ago, I had a heart to heart with myself. I figured out that my problem was not setting goals. I had nothing to shoot for. Like I said, it was always "When I get fit..." So I changed it up. This time I said "I am applying to this, this, and this department. Testing is in Jan. Will you be ready?" So, I have three months to drop fat and build muscle. Even if the departments I am applying to aren't hiring, when they do, I want to be ready.

My routine is fairly simple right now. I do cardio six days a week, every morning for 30 minutes. On Monday, Wednesday, Friday I also do weight training in the evenings for 1+ hours. I have had to get off track a few times for different reasons, but what I realize now is that missing a workout is not the end of the world. Just pick it back up tomorrow and keep going.

I am following Weight Watchers as my diet. I never would have thought I would ever be counting calories or points, but here I am. I helps making healthy and better choices and it works.

I also have set goals outside of just wanting to join a PD. I also want to do marathons. I am starting this weekend with a 5k Walkathon on the National Mall to help the homeless. Next year, I want to be able to compete in a 5k Marathon. One thing I have learned about myself is that I love weight lifting. When you are working out for that hour, nothing else matters, it is just you vs the weights. Once I get down to ~220 I plan on starting to bulk and continue cutting.

The poem at the beginning has a lot of comparisons to my Journey. There are two paths, one that is seemingly popular and well worn, the other is less traveled and therefore is a little tougher to traverse. And once he picks that path, he never looks back, never gets a chance to take the other route. Upon reflection, he realizes that he made the better choice. Much like my Journey, once I begin, I will not turn around, I will not be searching for that other path. Sure this path I have chosen may not be quicker, easier, or more forgiving, but in the end, I know I will be able to look back and say that it all was worth it.

From 11/19/2009: You are doing it wrong!

I gained a bit over a pound this week and I am not sure why, there are several factors that could play a part. One, I started drinking a lot more water this week, so maybe it is water weight.Two, I also really picked up the pumps, really forcing my way through workouts. Three, I am on the same cardio routine.

The water weight could be a big factor. Before I was only drinking when I was thirsty and when I thought about it, now I am drinking a solid 80oz of water during the work day. I have to piss once an hour and it runs clear as crystal to give you an idea. I might start cutting back on the amount of water I drink a day.

I doubt I put on a pound of muscle, even though I am noticing some small results, but I can't discredit it either, it may be responsible for a portion of that pound.

I need to switch up my cardio in the mornings. I think my body is getting too used to it. Been doing the same routine for a couple weeks. I use a pre-programmed exercise, I may try going manual is doing some novice HIIT. Nothing too strong to where I am toast the rest the day or that gets my blood pressure too high, just enough for my body to go into WTF mode.

My diet is still on plan. I haven't been eating that much. Typical day looks like this:

Meal 1:
Protein Shake- 60g

Meal 2:
100 cal English muffin
Peanut butter 1.5tbsp
Milk or Fruit Juice

Meal 3:
Lean Cuisine Meal
Water- I have cut soda completly outta my diet
Twinkie- gotta have it

Meal 4:
Snack Bar (don't know the name, but it counts for a serving of fruit!)
cheese stick

Meal 5:
Dinner- whatever momma fixes but it is always nutritious and well rounded
Ice Tea- sweetened, but not southern style

Meal 6:
Protein shake- 60g

After actually reviewing my diet in writing, I believe my diet may partially be to blame, it is not about quantity, but quality. As they say: Calories In, Calories Out. I will be adjusting accordingly next week sometime.

From 11/20/09:

Well, I believe the weigh in last night was related to water weight. I worked out last night, just cardio, and when I woke up, low and behold the scale was back where it should have been. I will be updating my weight on 12/3/09 which is my next WW weigh in. I am still up in the air as to just track at home or just use my WW #'s. The difference is when I weigh in with WW, it is at the end of the day and I am wearing my uniform. At home, I weigh in when I wake up, pre-workout and pre-meal. so, there is a good 3lb difference between those numbers and the graph would be all over the place if I use both. Maybe, I will make the weigh in on 11/19 my last WW weigh in, and just track my own from now on. Just keep Bodyspace and WW separate. Yes, I think I like that.

Also, kinda getting siked up for tomorrow. It is my first walkathon, and probably the last of the season. It is Fannie Mae's Help The Homeless DC 5k. Can't wait.

Today:

Missed my cardio workout today. Battled a headache the whole day. I don't know what it is from, not even Tylenol is really helping at this point. Caffeine? Weather? Tired? don't know. All I know is I gotta get on it tomorrow and make up for this setback. I have like 5lbs to lose in the next two weeks to hit my goal of 280 by the first week of Dec. I really have to dig deep to stick to my diet and exercise regimen. What really pisses me off though is the fact I was about 280 right before summer, but after a sudden and tragic death in the family, I allowed my self to balloon back out. But I use it as a perfect example that you cannot allow yourself to get off plan and there is no finish line to this. If you go, "oh great, I am down to 5% body fat, let's see, I think I will have a large meat lovers pizza, a plate of wings, and a pint or two," you will be back in no time. And yes, to me, when pigging out, there is not much better than a large pepperoni from Pizza hut, wings, and beer. Man food lol, and you wonder how I got this way? And in case you are still wondering, yes, I would eat all that in one sitting.

On the bright side, I did complete the 5k walkathon this weekend. I was able to keep a solid pace when the walking was good. It took about 75 minutes to complete it, but it took forever to get from the start line to the actual road, it was like a flippin traffic jam trying to get everyone going. The only thing I really have to complain about is some of the walkers. This is my first time doing something like this, but I would think that if you signed up, you are body able to walk 5k. Some of the folks didn't look healthy enough to even be out of a bed or off a couch. I guess it is a good thing for them to be up and out, just try to not get in my way. kthxbai.